Fall Lifestyle OUTFITS SELF

Things Every 20-Something Should Know About Herself

olive green ruffle sweater dress with suede tall boots // fall outfit ideas // transitional fall outfit

Heading into my 20s I can remember thinking I’d have everything figured out within the next few years. Now here I am in my mid-2os and feeling like while I have figured A LOT out, I still have some figuring out to do. Y’all feel the same?? What I know for sure, though, is what’s important to me – which I think is one of the hardest and biggest things to learn in life, at whatever age that comes.

I think your 20s are by far the most transitional point of life. With it comes all of this stuff that we’re supposed to learn. You actually start living on your own and supporting yourself if you weren’t before then. You finish college or school and actually have to figure out a real career. You often leave behind childhood and college friends as people get pulled in different directions. You might go through some serious relationships and even get married and have kids, all while still feeling like you were just 15.

It’s emotional, busy, fun, and all the while very evolving. I can’t think of another decade of life where things will look so drastically different from the start to the finish, and that’s pretty cool. It’s weird and hard, but it’s exciting, right?! It’s the period in which you start to form your true self as an adult – as corny as it sounds.

olive green ruffle sweater dress with suede tall boots // fall outfit ideas // transitional fall outfit

Things Every 20-something should about herself

I wanted to talk about what I think every 20-something should know about themselves today. Like I said, of course we won’t – and I definitely don’t – have every single thing figured out by the day 30 comes. But I do think it’s imperative as a young adult moving towards being a #realadult to have a grasp on certain things! Figuring out certain things about yourself will definitely set up a life that really feels like YOU.

1. Your worth

I wish there was a pill that all girls could take at a young age to understand their worth. As a female, it’s no secret that we are judged heavily and there’s pressure to be this beautiful, smart, funny (but not too funny!), sexy (but not too sexy!), driven (but not too driven!) person and it’s not fair. Something I’ve definitely started to learn is my worth – no matter how smart or sexy I am – and that I’m worthy of love, respect, and all the good things in life. Just because everyone is different and raised differently doesn’t mean someone’s worth should be stronger than another persons.

Your 20s are a time when you get pushed around and start to deal with the answer ‘no’ a lot more than you may have heard before. It’s also a time when you see the people around you do certain things and it can be tough not to feel inadequate if your life looks a bit different. That’s where your worth comes in. Your worth has nothing to do with what job you have or how much you have in your bank – it’s who you are inside.

Side note: And for me personally, my worth is very much rooted in who I am in Christ (which is another topic entirely – but it felt weird not to bring it up at all here! would y’all be interested in a blog post on JUST that? let me know in the comments below! I’ve talked about what I mean by finding my identity in christ before but it’s definitely something I could talk more about!)

Hinge ruffle sweater brighton keller with black high waisted work pants and dior sling back kitten heels
Wearing ruffle sweater ($70 – the one I wore in my stories Tuesday!), Rag & Bone pants (the BEST, fit TTS), and Dior sling back kitten heels.

2. That everyone’s life looks different

Your 20s are when peoples world’s start looking very different. Think about it…in your teens everyone goes to school, does similar activities and looks and feels pretty awkward. High school is a lot of the same – everyone goes to the same classes and is basically in the same spot. Then your 20s hit and some people move back home, some go off to these seemingly really cool jobs, some get pregnant, some get married, some get divorced, some stay single. It can be confusing to figure out if your life is good enough or where you’re supposed to be, right?!

For me, coming to the realization that everyone’s world is SUPPOSED to look different was huge and even liberating. I found myself questioning myself when comparing to others’ situations or stages – especially since until post grad life, everyone is in the same stage for the most part. But after college (generally speaking) is when things start to really look different for each individual and there’s not really a defined path or even timeframe. You’ve heard it before, but I’ll tell you again. Comparison is a dangerous place and it will always be the prime thief of joy! It’s also important to realize that when you’re playing the comparison game, you’re only taking the surface level stuff into consideration! Another cliche for you, the grass will always *seem* greener! But it’s important to realize that you (or I too!) probably wouldn’t even be happy in “their” shoes because you are unique and have your own story. Similar to recognizing your worth, accepting that everyone has a different journey is crucial.

3. How you want to spend your time

This is one of my favorite parts of being a 20-something! You actually get to start choosing how you want to spend your time, what your hobbies are, all while growing out of the stage where you put huge emphasis on what people think. It’s liberating!

You don’t have to play a team sport to feel involved, you don’t have to go the Friday night party just because everyone else is, and you don’t have to be liked by everyone in your school. You can totally #DOYOU. I’ve really enjoyed finding out what I actually enjoy doing – not what’s popular or what I should be doing because the Internet tells me. For me, that’s remembering bible versus and drinking wine in my PJs. Or spending time with my family on a hike. Find whatever makes you feel the most like YOU and stick to that!

4. Your style and body type

Another great thing about your 20s is you get a better sense of your style and body type. With maturity, I’ve figured out what trends I want to hop on board with, which are just not for me, and what looks best on my body. I have short legs, so I’ve stopped wearing certain (really cute!) items that cut me off. I’ve learned that cuffing my jeans makes my legs longer and that I’m most comfortable in jeans, wedges, and with my hair done, or in a snazzy dress and boots like I’m wearing here. These combos (esp. the jeans!) are my happy place for my body type and what I feel most comfortable and confident in. I think finding out a silhouette or even a personal style is super important for this stage – for ease, and for confidence in general.

5. The people that are most important

Similar to how you spend your time, your 20s are freaking beautiful because you realize who is truly important in your life. You can ditch the cliques and people that make you feel bad about yourself, or just not comfortable; and you can embrace a (maybe smaller. quality over quantity!) group who GETS YOU. I think to think of this as my HOME TEAM – the girls that are rooting for me, understand who I am, and that I just generally vibe well with. This is definitely a hard transition because growing up, you’re *supposed* to be friends with everybody, but there’s something mature and appealing about having a close-knit circle of friends and family members who you feel your best with. There’s no fake-ness, toxicity (or shouldn’t be!), awkwardness; time is just spent enjoying each other’s company and lifting each other up!

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What do y’all think? What are the biggest lessons from your 20s?

Outfit Details: BP. Ruffle Sweater Dress (size up! I’m wearing size XS) // UGG Daley Tall Boot (super old – similar heeled one) // Julie Vos Gold Cuff // Julie Vos Link Bracelet // Louis Vuitton crossbody bag

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25 Comments

  • Reply
    Carol
    December 29, 2017 at 11:14 pm

    I want to add that we as women are a whole lot more than our career. It took me many years to see it, but the Lord has shown me my self worth. And, I’m worthy.

  • Reply
    Carol
    December 29, 2017 at 10:57 pm

    Lessons from my 20’s. I couldn’t trust everyone as some jewelry and class books come up missing. Some friends weren’t in the same work space I was in. I believed in Working Woman and was proud to be one. But, my height interfered with getting some jobs. I had to retransition from journalism to customer service because it was a field I could make a living at. I had my own apartment, paid my own bills. But, life was still empty. I didn’t have anyone to share my life with. That explains my 20’s in a nutshell.

  • Reply
    Jarikre Faith
    December 28, 2017 at 11:50 am

    I love this post. It really lovely and I have learnt a lot.

  • Reply
    elizabeth ashley
    December 19, 2017 at 6:52 pm

    This is so helpful! I just turned 30 (eep!) and it’s all still applicable. Yes, our lives are supposed to look different! So true. I love your “voice” in your writing; sounds just like you on stories – like you’re talking with your friend. Thanks for sharing!

  • Reply
    Ash
    December 2, 2017 at 11:17 am

    Nice post! If you haven’t already, you should consider doing a post about dressing for your body type. As someone who is 5’3″, it’s often not until I look back at photos that I realize something wasn’t the most flattering for my body type! Some tips and tricks you’ve picked up could be cool!

  • Reply
    Ashley
    December 2, 2017 at 11:16 am

    Nice post! If you haven’t already, you should consider doing a post about dressing for your body type. As someone who is 5’3″, it’s often not until I look back at photos that I realize something wasn’t the most flattering for my body type! Some tips and tricks you’ve picked up could be cool!

  • Reply
    Mary Gies
    November 10, 2017 at 8:24 am

    I am 39 and still working on these things! Props to you for figuring it out so early :-)

  • Reply
    Brooke
    November 9, 2017 at 9:01 pm

    This post resonated with me so so much. You’ve always been my favorite blogger, but I especially love the directions your posts have taken as of late! Thank you Brighton!

  • Reply
    SimplySory
    November 2, 2017 at 9:01 am

    Great post, lovely pic.

    http://www.simplysory.com/

  • Reply
    Ige Lewis
    October 31, 2017 at 4:33 pm

    What a great read!

    What makes years 20’s thick is actually what tends to break it – If not well managed.

    Every person that falls withing that age bracket needs to be adequately informed of the vulnerabilities associated with those years:

    1. Social pressure
    2. Desire to be loved
    3. Inclination to be the best
    4. What the future holds etc

    At such times, it helps a lot when the parents to come into the picture to guide them with their own past experiences.

  • Reply
    Carly Mixon
    October 31, 2017 at 9:00 am

    Thank you for this!! I turn 20 next week and this was so beneficial because I feel like your 20’s are overshadowed by insecurity and doubts but these are the things that are definitely important to remember!

  • Reply
    Ashley
    October 29, 2017 at 12:00 am

    Yes! More on finding your worth in Christ, please! Love this – everyone’s lives are supposed to look dif in these years what a good reminder. Needed to hear that!

  • Reply
    Elizabeth
    October 28, 2017 at 11:16 pm

    So encouraging, your blog posts are my favorite, it really is one of the few places I can go online and leave feeling better about myself and my situation. Thank you for sharing your faith, I know it takes courage. Please do share more on the identity in Christ subject, it’s something I’m currently struggling with and would love some words of wisdom.

  • Reply
    Christina
    October 28, 2017 at 8:37 pm

    I think this post can ring true to many age groups and other stages of life! Thank you for always sharing about your faith in God as well. It’s so refreshing and I agree with the other commenter about you being authentic :) and YES to your side note!

  • Reply
    Car
    October 28, 2017 at 7:40 pm

    This is a very well written, Brighton. I forwarded it to my daughter, who just turned 20 and is in college. I’m in my late 30s and I definitely related to everything you wrote here when I was trying to navigate my 20s. Very insightful and realistic post. You speak of the (awful) “comparison game”, and I found myself doing that more in my early 30s, as I chose a much different path in life than most of my friends, and that is when the differences became noticeable. I am single, chose a career as a traveling registered nurse, and decided to not have anymore children. My life is one of constant travel and independence. While this is such a fun life and good fit for me, I sometimes felt off-track in that my friends were all just starting families and settling down. That is still considered more of a societal norm to pursue in your early 30s than what I chose. Anyway, I have worked very hard to not compare myself anymore. It’s always a work in progress, but continuing to gain a stronger sense of self during my journey, and focusing on what makes ME happy, helps tremendously. I hope all young girls figure out who they are truly are and learn to embrace and celebrate that. Uniqueness is beauty! P.S. I love that you are so open with your insecurities, it makes you more relatable/authentic as a blogger.

  • Reply
    Beth
    October 28, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    I’m 46, newly single, and just figuring this all out again!

  • Reply
    Jessica Conner
    October 28, 2017 at 1:28 pm

    I love this! I’m 24, with two kids, and we’ve been homeowners since I was 20! We got married when I was 19 and I struggled with 99% of my friendships. People wouldn’t talk to me anymore because my marriage was a huge priority. I’ve found that trying navigate friends/momfriends/non mom friends has been the most difficult part of my 20s.

    Knowing your worth is numero uno! In Christ Alone!❤

  • Reply
    Amy Kathryn Stokes
    October 27, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    Such thoughtful words! I turned 24 in September and am constantly having to remind myself not to play the comparison game when it comes to my career (I’m in graduate school so that hasn’t officially started yet), my personal style/body type, how I need to spend my time, etc. It’s been so special, but also so hard, having Christ mold, shape, and prune me these past few years as I’m growing into the woman I’m meant to be. Ultimately I have to root my identity in Him and know that He’ll get me where I need to go when I need to get there. Thanks for the reminder! It’s something my heart needed to hear today!

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    October 26, 2017 at 12:00 pm

    this is a beautiful post

  • Reply
    Jessica
    October 26, 2017 at 9:41 am

    Bless you for this post! I just turned 26 last week and oh my word did every single one of those points ring loud and true for me! Your 20’s are definitely super fun but super hard and it’s always so refreshing and comforting to remind yourself that we are all right where we need to be, no matter what that might look like.

  • Reply
    Haley
    October 26, 2017 at 7:32 am

    This was so fun for me to read! I’m 23 and starting my first “real” job as a CPA a week from today. I definitely still have so much to figure out (in all of these departments!) but having these little reminders really made me smile! Thanks for keeping it real haha I love everything you share!

  • Reply
    Briana
    October 25, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    Great topic! This is so important! I love the green as well!

    Briana
    https://beyoutifulbrunette.com/

  • Reply
    Olivia
    October 25, 2017 at 3:59 pm

    Wow – I just love this! And man, did I need this! It’s crazy how God works because this is exactly the message I’ve been needing to hear as I’m on the cusp of this transition and graduating from college soon. I always love your lifestyle posts – they’re so encouraging, authentic, and always point me back to God whether or not you mention The Gospel or not…you can just tell from your perspective that He lives in you!

  • Reply
    Candice Petersen
    October 25, 2017 at 1:56 pm

    That dress looks so cute!

    Candice | Beauty Candy Loves

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