Heading into my 20s I can remember thinking I’d have everything figured out within the next few years. Now here I am in my mid-2os and feeling like while I have figured A LOT out, I still have some figuring out to do. Y’all feel the same?? What I know for sure, though, is what’s important to me – which I think is one of the hardest and biggest things to learn in life, at whatever age that comes.
I think your 20s are by far the most transitional point of life. With it comes all of this stuff that we’re supposed to learn. You actually start living on your own and supporting yourself if you weren’t before then. You finish college or school and actually have to figure out a real career. You often leave behind childhood and college friends as people get pulled in different directions. You might go through some serious relationships and even get married and have kids, all while still feeling like you were just 15.
It’s emotional, busy, fun, and all the while very evolving. I can’t think of another decade of life where things will look so drastically different from the start to the finish, and that’s pretty cool. It’s weird and hard, but it’s exciting, right?! It’s the period in which you start to form your true self as an adult – as corny as it sounds.
Things Every 20-something should about herself
I wanted to talk about what I think every 20-something should know about themselves today. Like I said, of course we won’t – and I definitely don’t – have every single thing figured out by the day 30 comes. But I do think it’s imperative as a young adult moving towards being a #realadult to have a grasp on certain things! Figuring out certain things about yourself will definitely set up a life that really feels like YOU.
1. Your worth
I wish there was a pill that all girls could take at a young age to understand their worth. As a female, it’s no secret that we are judged heavily and there’s pressure to be this beautiful, smart, funny (but not too funny!), sexy (but not too sexy!), driven (but not too driven!) person and it’s not fair. Something I’ve definitely started to learn is my worth – no matter how smart or sexy I am – and that I’m worthy of love, respect, and all the good things in life. Just because everyone is different and raised differently doesn’t mean someone’s worth should be stronger than another person’s.
Your 20s are a time when you get pushed around and start to deal with the answer ‘no’ a lot more than you may have heard before. It’s also a time when you see the people around you do certain things and it can be tough not to feel inadequate if your life looks a bit different. That’s where your worth comes in. Your worth has nothing to do with what job you have or how much you have in your bank – it’s who you are inside.
Side note: And for me personally, my worth is very much rooted in who I am in Christ (which is another topic entirely – but it felt weird not to bring it up at all here! would y’all be interested in a blog post on JUST that? let me know in the comments below! I’ve talked about what I mean by finding my identity in christ before but it’s definitely something I could talk more about!)
2. That everyone’s life looks different
Your 20s are when peoples world’s start looking very different. Think about it…in your teens everyone goes to school, does similar activities and looks and feels pretty awkward. High school is a lot of the same – everyone goes to the same classes and is basically in the same spot. Then your 20s hit and some people move back home, some go off to these seemingly really cool jobs, some get pregnant, some get married, some get divorced, some stay single. It can be confusing to figure out if your life is good enough or where you’re supposed to be, right?!
For me, coming to the realization that everyone’s world is SUPPOSED to look different was huge and even liberating. I found myself questioning myself when comparing to others’ situations or stages – especially since until post-grad life, everyone is in the same stage for the most part. But after college (generally speaking) is when things start to really look different for each individual and there’s not really a defined path or even timeframe. You’ve heard it before, but I’ll tell you again. Comparison is a dangerous place and it will always be the prime thief of joy! It’s also important to realize that when you’re playing the comparison game, you’re only taking the surface level stuff into consideration! Another cliche for you, the grass will always *seem* greener! But it’s important to realize that you (or I too!) probably wouldn’t even be happy in “their” shoes because you are unique and have your own story. Similar to recognizing your worth, accepting that everyone has a different journey is crucial.
3. How you want to spend your time
This is one of my favorite parts of being a 20-something! You actually get to start choosing how you want to spend your time, what your hobbies are, all while growing out of the stage where you put a huge emphasis on what people think. It’s liberating!
You don’t have to play a team sport to feel involved, you don’t have to go the Friday night party just because everyone else is, and you don’t have to be liked by everyone in your school. You can totally #DOYOU. I’ve really enjoyed finding out what I actually enjoy doing – not what’s popular or what I should be doing because the Internet tells me. For me, that’s remembering Bible verses and drinking wine in my PJs. Or spending time with my family on a hike. Find whatever makes you feel the most like YOU and stick to that!
4. Your style and body type
Another great thing about your 20s is you get a better sense of your style and body type. With maturity, I’ve figured out what trends I want to hop on board with, which are just not for me, and what looks best on my body. I have short legs, so I’ve stopped wearing certain (really cute!) items that cut me off. I’ve learned that cuffing my jeans makes my legs longer and that I’m most comfortable in jeans, wedges, and with my hair done, or in a snazzy dress and boots like I’m wearing here. These combos (esp. the jeans!) are my happy place for my body type and what I feel most comfortable and confident in. I think finding out a silhouette or even a personal style is super important for this stage – for ease, and for confidence in general.
5. The people that are most important
Similar to how you spend your time, your 20s are freaking beautiful because you realize who is truly important in your life. You can ditch the cliques and people that make you feel bad about yourself, or just not comfortable, and you can embrace a (maybe smaller. quality over quantity!) group who GETS YOU. I think to think of this as my HOME TEAM – the girls that are rooting for me, understand who I am, and that I just generally vibe well with. This is definitely a hard transition because growing up, you’re *supposed* to be friends with everybody, but there’s something mature and appealing about having a close-knit circle of friends and family members who you feel your best with. There’s no fake-ness, toxicity (or shouldn’t be!), awkwardness; time is just spent enjoying each other’s company and lifting each other up!
What do y’all think? What are the biggest lessons from your 20s?
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