Remember that (recent) blog post I wrote on comparison and not feeling good enough?
A few days ago I read it again and felt like something was missing; like it wasn’t finished. Because there’s actually so much more going on behind the scenes; and I feel compelled to share it with you despite my fear of communicating poorly and lacking eloquence. (Side note: I always struggle with this but I’m pushing past it today.)
There’s More To It
To put it simply, yeah…there’s more to it than that. With “that” being what I talked about in that last post.
At the heart of it, my personal experience in dealing with jealousy (and the comparison trap in general) goes a step further than fighting negative self-talk. Although doing so is indeed productive, I think my resilience is due to something else entirely.
The Secret to My Resilience
Ultimately, I’m able to overcome these feelings through my faith. Let me be more specific because I realize this sounds a little lofty and elusive.
I’m able to prevail and am re-energized (and motivated) despite continual discouragement (etc.) because I believe in something MUCH bigger than myself (and my business). And this “something” that I am referring to is God. And part of believing in God is believing His word.
Let me skip a few theological bullet points here and just jump straight to the personal-relationship-with-Jesus-Christ part. You see, this is where the magic happens. As a Christian, and as I’m sure you’re familiar, I believe I am a child of God. But not just in some elusive, “God the father” kind of way either. I mean, literally – in the sweetest and most intimate of ways. I believe that the creator of the universe loves me more than I can possibly imagine and that He desires a relationship with me – and that means the real, tangible, one-on-one kind of relationships we have here on earth.
The secret to my resilience is my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s because of this relationship, that I’m able to overcome the pressures and struggles of jealousy and the comparison trap – on a daily, weekly and whenever-it-comes basis. I think some people struggle with it more than others, but as a relatively competitive person and overachiever (#oldestchild) I struggle with comparison all the time. Although I don’t think this is the best place to get into it, I’d say that my career heightens these struggles since my “performance” or “status” (or whatever) is on display for everyone to see.
What Does That Look Like?
It looks like any other type of relationship, really.
It looks like close times and distant times. It looks like commitment, discipline, and prioritization. It’s slow and gradual and all at once. It’s full of emotion, inspiring, and sometimes dry too. But above all, my relationship with Jesus is personal, consistent, and life-giving.
When I lean on Him and walk WITH Him through these (or any) struggles, He builds me back up. As I read and think about His word (the bible) and the truths He’s given me through it, I’m freed from the anxieties and pressures of my daily life as I remember who I am in Christ. Literally, I feel the weight lifting off of me.
It’s so refreshing – no matter how many times I hear it – to remember and lean on the fact that my identity is entirely independent of what I do, how well I do it, or what others think of me. It’s so scary crazy how easy it is to forget these simple yet foundational truths. Which is why I have to constantly fight against my forgetting. As long as I’m living in this broken world, I’ll have to fight for the truth and preach it to my heart – even when I don’t want to.
I 100% understand this sounds crazy. If I were to read this 3 years ago, I would totally roll my eyes. But it’s not crazy or out-of-this-world. It’s true. And I’m a living testament to that. I’m telling you, this stuff is true and it’s the reason why I get out of bed in the morning. Honestly, I have zero reason to lie or exaggerate – so you should take my word for it.
PS:: I’ve been holding off on publishing this for weeks because I’ve been too nervous. But I’m going to hold my breath and go hide under the covers now (lol). No but really, please comment and engage with me. Remember, you guys are the reason why I blog and keep going. And I enjoy sharing more personal things, but it really makes it worth it when I KNOW I’m relating to you, sparking curiosity, or encouraging/inspiring you. You know??