#BrightonBrain - June 8, 2017

Things I’m feeling and Thinking

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I used to be a lot more willy nilly with my content. I didn’t have an editorial calendar and if I did, I sure didn’t stick to it. I barely did any planning, ever. I just flew by the seat of my pants. I barely knew what I was going to write about the next day much less next Tuesday.

But in the past year or so, I’ve really gotten my act together in an effort to create better (and more thought out) content for y’all. It might not look like it, but creating good quality content is H-A-R-D. It takes A LOT of planning and planning to plan (ha!) and sticking to the plan. Get my drift? So it’s a lot more organized and business-y (which I actually love and it’s less stress for me!) rather than the off-the-cusp shop I used to run (ha!). But all that to say, my point is that I hardly ever just sit-and-write what’s on my mind anymore. I miss that.

I miss writing without thinking. I miss writing without strategy, or without worrying about an organized structure or article flow. There’s definitely a place for organized, value-add content – don’t get me wrong. But I’m just going to switch things up today for old time’s sake! So instead of writing about how much I love these little ruffle sleeves (which I do!) and the flatform sneaker trend (diggin’ it), I’m going to talk about things on my mind – as if we were literally sitting together, catching up over a cup of coffee.

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A (very) Random List of Things I’m feeling slash thinking

And for the first time in a VERY long time, I’m not holding back – not even a little. If you don’t like what I’m saying, that’s fine. If you have something to say, comment below and join the conversation. If you think I’m being ungrateful or ridiculous – leave. I don’t mean to be harsh.

On Fashion Blogging in general

The (fashion) blogging world frustrates me. Maybe I can talk more on this later (I need some courage and maybe a glass of wine – ha). I’m scared to say how I really feel. Because I’m not sure I’m allowed to feel this way. But I’ll just say that it’s an interesting industry to navigate – especially on your own. The competition is fierce and it’s getting harder and harder to be “special” when there are 70 million other people doing the same thing, wearing the same clothes. Blah, I don’t know.

On boundaries

Sometimes it’s hard for me to know where to draw the line when it comes to figuring out what to share. Boundaries are hard enough as a normal (non-blogger) person, so I think it’s even harder when you’re sharing your life with the world. Like, when does sharing my struggles and bad-day-moments become to be too much or unprofessional? Which parts of my life should I keep totally private? When does a struggle or vulnerability become something I can share without being crippled by the feedback (or lack there of). It’s easy to share a struggle you’ve overcome it, but what about the ones that never go away? The ones that keep coming back and seem to be a constant thorn in your side?

On starting a new business

I haven’t told y’all about something that I’ve been working on for a bit. Well I actually haven’t even started “working” on it yet; instead, I’m just doing a bit of research. And talking about it. (I always talk about things a lot before doing something about it.) I’m thinking about starting another business. But I’m scared out of my mind. I’m scared for 389537257 reasons but mostly because – what if it fails? It totally could. And that’s probably also why I’m not ready to tell you. Because what if I change my mind? Ha. Anyway, so that’s been taking up a good bit of my brain space lately…oh, and time.

On putting myself out there

Sometimes I worry if you think I’m unstable. Not in a crazy person way (no offense), but in an inconsistent kind of way? You might have noticed, but I’m a bit of an extremist. One day I feel like I can (literally – sort of) take over the world. And then the next, I’m having major self-doubt about whether I can actually put together a cute outfit – I kid you not.

I’ve got ups and downs; highs and lows, exciting moments and major discouragement; I’m silly and serious; focused and all-over-the-place; determined and then apathetic – and the list goes on. I know that – to a certain extent – this is normal; we all feel these things and experience both sides of this spectrum. But I still feel like I’m a bit more extreme than most – just a thought. Also, I’m over here trying to figure out how to experience these extremes and be “real” with y’all, but also professional and maintain my authority and credibility if that makes sense? (Hard to explain.)

But my point is that sometimes I feel like I should only show you certain “parts” of me (in fact, I feel this way a lot). But when I try to do that, I feel confined and like I’m holding my breath or something (or being fake). So then I show you the real me. And it’s probably like, a lot to handle. I don’t know….is it too much? (HAHA)

On losing my fire

I’m in a funk. It’s been like 9-ish days and it’s still here. At first I thought it was a 2-day-or-so phase. But no; it’s still here and I don’t think it’s going anywhere – the funky-ness I mean. I sort of mentioned it on my Instagram on Monday night, but basically I’m feeling burnt out and a little blah. I question what I’m doing and why and wonder if my blog even has a purpose in the world. I know that sounds dramatic – but that’s because it is…at least to me. I feel like I need to be traveling or that my life isn’t interesting enough. But the truth is, I sorta like a boring life. If I’m being completely honest, I really like it when my life is boring. In fact, I get really excited when I have zero plans on a weekend and staying in the house for hours (or sometimes even days? don’t judge) at a time doesn’t bother me.

On accidentally becoming a “model” but not meaning to?

I’m also feeling a little weird about the fact that regardless of how I want to “frame” it, my job is sort of to be a…model? (kinda?) I don’t know how I feel about that. But no matter what way I look at it, that’s sort of what’s going on here. You know? And that’s kind of weird. And I don’t really like that. Because the truth is that I don’t do my hair and makeup everyday – but it looks like I do. When you look at my blog (or even Instagram) photos, I’m literally always all dolled up. Because I feel like I have to be. But do I? That’s the million dollar question. I don’t really know to be honest.

Outfit Details: Halogen Ruffle Sleeve T-shirt // JSlides Espadrille Sneaker // Gucci Mini Bag // COH Lyla Distressed Jeans