Motherhood - July 20, 2022

Baby No. 2: Second Trimester Recap

As I enter into the third trimester next week, I wanted to do a little recap of my second trimester experience for this pregnancy. I almost didn’t do one this time but after asking you all on IG stories if you wanted one, it was certainly a resounding yes that you did!

Brighton Butler 2nd Trimester Questions

Outfit Details: Maternity Dress (wearing size S)  // Jacket (similar) // Shoes (similar) // Bag // Sunglasses

The Quick 411 on My Second Pregnancy

If you’re catching this at a later time or haven’t been following along, let me give you some details to catch you up to date. My due date is October 14th and our second baby is a girl (we had a boy as our first!). So unlike my last pregnancy where my due date was in March, I’m pregnant during the spring and summer instead of fall and winter. It’s a totally different experience when it comes to getting dressed; I wasn’t really able to reuse many clothing items other than my pregnancy bras, shape-wear shorts, and pajamas.

I’ll be 28 weeks this Friday, July 22, 2022. So like I mentioned above, my second trimester has been May through the end of July essentially – so very warm! And lastly, our two babies will be 20 months apart! If you missed it, here is my first trimester recap blog post for this pregnancy.

I think that covers the basics – let’s get into your questions.

Questions & Answers

Thanks so much for submitting your questions via IG stories – it makes putting together these posts so helpful! And I love knowing I’m answering some of y’alls specific questions that might provide insight, encouragement or help in your journey.

Is Four excited?

I don’t think he understands lol I keep trying to tell him though!

Do you like being pregnant?

No. I personally hate it.

How does it compare to the 1st trimester? Still nauseous? When does nausea go away?

Unfortunately for me, the beginning of the second trimester was not that different from the first this time. Usually, things get a lot better right when you turn that corner into the second trimester (which was sort of the case with my last pregnancy), but this time I did not start to feel better until week 18/19. I was still throwing up outside the car and restaurants until then and having to eat almost every hour to help fight off the nausea.

Morning sickness?

As I mentioned above, yes. But once I got to about 19 weeks, things started to really improve. I hardly ever get nauseous anymore and definitely have not taken it for granted! While we were in Aspen last week, I couldn’t get over the fact that I could be in the car for several miles and wasn’t getting sick – I felt so free! Usually, the car compounds my nausea.

Speaking of, carbs were literally the *only* thing that helped me feel even the slightest bit OK on top of prescription medicine I got from my doctor. The over-the-counter medicine did not help me.

What is different 2nd time around?

So many things are different but the main thing is that I just feel more confident and familiar, which has really helped my state of mind. It was all so overwhelming last time – literally everything crippled me. We weren’t exactly ready last time, so it was quite a whirlwind.

Going into my second pregnancy, I knew that it would be incredibly hard for me based on my experience last time. I’d already accepted this fact and embraced it. Thus, I was able to prepare professionally and mentally for essentially a year of Brighton that ran at a much lower capacity – if that makes sense? I made plans to cut back at work (I took about 50% less jobs and set lower goals). I know not everyone is able to do this, so I’m incredibly thankful I was able to do so.

Basically, through my first pregnancy, I learned and accepted the toll pregnancy takes on my body and mental capacity. And I didn’t try to be someone I wasn’t this time around and therefor didn’t feel guilty about the lifestyle and work adjustments I needed to make. Last time, I feel like I couldn’t accept this and dealt with a lot of shame, comparison and self-loathing throughout my entire pregnancy. I didn’t understand why it was so hard for me but others could seemingly breeze through it.

What is different about this pregnancy, symptom-wise?

In a nutshell, I was sick for way longer. I think my nausea eased up around 14 weeks with Four, so much earlier than this time around. I also had so many more (intense and more frequent) aches and pains with my first pregnancy. I still have aches this time around but it’s not as often and it started much later.

I also struggled with being extremely low and depressed last time around. With this pregnancy, it has not been as bad. This could be due to other lifestyle factors, but overall I do feel much more balanced this time around. Of course, I still have crazy hormones – it’s just all relative. I was crying several times a week with Four and almost quit my job several times (remember when I thought I wanted to get into selling essential oils? Nothing against that, but I was just very lost and incredibly desperate).

Did you have cramping? First-time mom here at 14 weeks and it’s scary!

I did a little very early on. It felt like diarrhea cramps to me (and usually was coupled with it too – lol sorry if TMI) and the pain came in waves. But it was *nothing* like the cramping I experienced during my first pregnancy. That pain sent me to the ER (I thought something was seriously wrong) if you’re new or don’t remember me sharing about that.

Plans for juggling 2 under 2?

I haven’t thought about it yet, to be honest. I’m well aware the first few months will be chaos, but I’m hoping tings will get into a rhythm around 6 months.

When did you start using a pregnancy pillow?

I find it so strange I haven’t felt the need for it this time around! Last time, I had to get one in the middle of my second trimester. But this time, I’ve just used a pillow between my legs and been totally fine. Sleeping hasn’t really been a huge issue (relatively speaking) for me yet. But I imagine that will change dramatically as I get further into my third trimester.

How do you deal with anxiety during pregnancy? I’m really struggling.

If I let my brain go there, it can be really crippling. And I absolutely understand why this is such a huge issue for so many people – it’s so scary! And so many things can go wrong! I do feel like the second pregnancy is a little better because all the little things don’t scare you as much since you’re more familiar with what’s happening and what’s normal.

I also think it has a lot to do with your personal experience with fertility, miscarriages, and pregnancy complications. Even though I have been incredibly blessed in this area, I still struggle with letting my mind wander with all the things that could go wrong. One thing that has helped is unfollowing or trying to block out stories of loss and complications. On one hand, I understand that it’s valuable to know more and be aware of what could go wrong. But on the other hand, sometimes ignorance is bliss so as not to lead to unnecessary worry. Finding that balance can be tricky. I always find it comforting to talk to my doctor and keep her looped in on any worries I may be having or symptoms that could be worrisome.

What is your pregnancy skincare routine?

Very simple. I use Tula face wash to cleanse my skin (been using it for years – my code is BRIGHTON). Then I use Vintner’s Active Essence followed by Vintner’s Botanical serum. Sometimes I use Tula 24/7 moisturizer too. That’s pretty much it.

Best jeans for 2nd and 3rd trimester?

Since my second trimester has been during the summer (May-July), I haven’t really worn too much denim. I did get some denim shorts, a pair of overalls and some white jeans. I wrote a post rounding up my favorites in this post if you want to check it out

Will you be sharing her name?

No, not until she is born.

How much weight have you gained since you found out?

So far I have gained 20 pounds.

Is the heat making you swell?

Somehow, it’s not? But it might be because I’m not on my feet too much. I spend a lot of time sitting lol.

Which diaper bag will you use?

Not sure, but I’ve got my eye on this one in size large. It’s washable, has lots of pockets and easily clips onto a stroller for easy access when on the go. Plus, it’s not too girly so Duncan can carry it too.

What was the anatomy scan like?

It’s basically just a longer ultrasound where they take a bunch of measurements. I was really nervous until the end when the doctor came in and said everything looked OK and baby girl is growing fine!

Have you thought about what to get your delivery nurses?

Not yet, any suggestions? I wasn’t able to do this last time since he came early and surprised us all :)

Are you done traveling? When should pregnant women stop flying?

We leave for our Babymoon in California this week – I’m so excited! We were planning on going back to Aspen after that and staying for a few weeks (basically until I got to 31 weeks), but I’ not sure now. The general rule is no domestic travel after 36 weeks and no international travel after 28-35 weeks depending. It absolutely depends on your medical history and what your doctor recommends.

Last time, we moved when I was 32 weeks pregnant. I didn’t think anything of it and my doctor approved it. But since Four came at 34.5 weeks, I get why they say to be careful because I guess you never know? Obviously, this is just my experience and I’m not a doctor.

To answer your question, we aren’t done traveling but might be cutting it off sooner rather than later (or what most people are comfortable with) due to my history.

When did you start working on the nursery?

After I found out the gender – so probably about 12 weeks? I think this is pretty early actually but I’ve been excited about the fact that I’ll actually be settled for the arrival of this baby and will be able to actually nest. I didn’t get to do any of that last time since we had just moved from Denver to Dallas 10 days prior to his arrival.

Any lower back pain? If so, any solutions?

Yes, but nothing like last time. I feel like I was in pain from week 14 until he got here with my back. But for this pregnancy, it’s only every so often and it’s not nearly as intense. The funny thing is though that when I do get pain, it’s on the same side – my left. Last time I went to a chiropractor and that helped. This time, I haven’t had to do that but I do foam roll almost every night and that really helps me! Sometimes I take Tylenol as well. Oh, and if it gets really bad I’ll get a prenatal massage, which does wonders.

Has your OB care been better or about the same in Denver vs. Dallas?

I don’t love my doctor here and I can’t put my finger on why. Parking is annoying, I feel like a number kinda and I just don’t think we click. But I haven’t done anything about it because it’s so much work to transfer doctors (read: I am lazy). I will probably change after this pregnancy. I had such a wonderful experience in Denver and miss those doctors so much! I’m blanking on the name of the practice but it was at Rose Medical.

How often are you working out/staying active?

Since we’ve been traveling most of Summer, I haven’t been as active as I was when I was here and working out with my trainer. I started working out around week 19 and was pretty consistent until we started traveling in June (around week 22). While we’ve been in the mountains the past few weeks, I’ve been going on walks, hikes and bike rides but taking it pretty easy. Each week that goes by, I am getting more and more tired. I have been pretty good with stretching several times a week – it really helps with my back pain and random body tightness and aches I get.

What are you eating? Have you had any cravings?

I haven’t been monitoring my food intake at all this entire pregnancy, so I eat whatever sounds good! I’ve had a lot of burgers and yummy salads and lots of pasta too! I’ve also had a lot of pizza – probably my favorite food.

As far as cravings, I don’t feel like I’ve experienced intense cravings other than occasionally I’ll *really* want a Sprite or some frozen yogurt. And I always crave candy after meals, but I think that’s a bigger problem that has nothing to do with pregnancy lol.

How are you handling weight gain/body changes?

It really bothered me during the first trimester and even well into the second trimester. I have some distinct memories of getting really, really down and even crying at times. And it really didn’t help that I couldn’t work out (way too sick) and felt like a slave to carbs in order to survive how sick I felt. The idea of eating carbs all the time might sound nice, but after a while, you start to just feel gross and lethargic – at least I do.

Over the past 4 weeks (the last leg of my second trimester), I will say that I haven’t struggled with weight gain or being down about it as much. Do I feel cute and pretty? Absolutely not. Do I get excited about new outfits? Sadly, not really. At least not in the same way I usually do. However, I don’t feel as down about my body because the bigger bump has helped me embrace carrying a life – if that makes sense? And I think the bigger bump has made my bigger legs and arms and face feel less big (lol)? My belly very clearly steals the show. I also stopped looking at other pregnant people online. It can be so discouraging to see another woman seemingly carrying her baby with no extra weight gain and wonder why your experience is so different.

Favorite part about the 2nd trimester?

I just feel so much better. Not being nauseous 24/7 is the greatest gift and such a weight lifted off my back.

I used to get anxious about going to the doctor’s office across town because I was worried about getting sick on the ride over. I never wanted to do anything social either because I was worried about feeling sick or not having a snack at the exact moment I needed it. I was telling my friend the other day – if this is what being pregnant felt like the whole time (being a little tired, uncomfortable and gaining some weight), I could do this over and over again!

How are you dealing with the heat?

I’m honestly not. I don’t really spend much time outside because it’s just too unbearable. And if I’m outside for an extended amount of time, I’m at the pool. If I work out, I’m doing something short on my bike (inside), an at-home workout or meeting with my trainer at the gym. We intentionally planned as much travel as possible this summer to try and stay out of it! And honestly, it’s dangerous for the baby!

What are you are buying for baby #2?

Since this is my first girl, most of the things I’ve been buying so far have been clothes! I’m so excited about getting her wardrobe together – much more so than I was for Four. Girl’s clothes are so much more fun in my opinion! I actually just started making a list of all the things I need to buy and get organized before she gets here. Even though I went through this 18 months ago, I feel like I’ve forgotten everything!

Changing Pad for her nursery
Monogrammed Bibs (because so cute) – I’m looking at this one and this one and this one
A few kissy kissy convertible gowns + this one too
Newborn socks
Angel Dear little outfits – I love how soft their material is
Going home outfit – thinking about this little set
Diaper pail for her room
Personalized towels for her bathroom and this hoodie towel
Mattress sheets
Nanit stand (already got the monitor during Prime Day)
Newborn bath things – going to get this tub
Newborn onesies – and some of these kissy kissy ones too (I gave most of Four’s away and plus they were all boyish)
Personalized toiletry bag
Shusher (Four’s is broken)
Sound Machine

What have you have already bought or are using again this time around?

Nanit camera (scored during Prime day!)
Most of her nursery furniture! Still need to get some decor for the armoire shelves. See a little sneak peak of the nursery here and here
Doona (got this for Four so using it again)
Halo Bassinet (using the same one we used for Four)
Drawer organizers for all her folded things
Hangers for her closet
Loveseat – doing this instead of a glider so Duncan and I can both sit