Style - April 24, 2019

5 Ways Rejection Helps You Grow

Rejection can be a sticky topic to talk about because there are many different levels and ways in which people can experience it. I definitely don’t want to discount anyone’s emotions here, but I want to help y’all be able to see these kinds of life experiences as opportunities for growth. I say this because I’ve been through my own fair share of rejection and I know it sucks. In hindsight, though, I now see I’ve come out on the other side of it a little wiser and much stronger. The trick lies in how you see it.

So, I’m hoping the ideas below can help reshape how you perceive rejection. Instead of seeing it as a negative and getting down on yourself, you’ll remember the ideas in this post and move forward with confidence!

It can force us to reconsider our goals

Being rejected in any way can make us question everything. It’s hard not to let your mind run wild with what if’s and should I’s. And while I don’t think you should drive yourself crazy, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with using this as an opportunity to revisit your goals. Doing this can help bring some much-needed understanding to an unclear situation. Who knows, maybe being rejected in this situation is what will catapult you in your new direction where you’ll find amazing success! The point is, see it as an opportunity for goal setting, not a setback.

It creates a moment for pause

Whenever I’m facing any kind of adversity, I try not to think too emotionally. I think it’s so important to feel your feelings, but when I get too emotional during trying times I start to overthink absolutely everything. Instead, I try to focus this energy into a moment of pause.

For example, let’s say someone at work completely rejected an idea of yours that you’d spent a lot of time preparing. In that instance, it feels natural to react emotionally and get upset (understandably so). But I’ve found it’s much more productive to instead just pause. Be stronger than your tears or rage in that moment and give yourself a second to breathe. Doing this kind of temporarily removes you from that situation so you can come back with a level head, ready to figure out your next move. Which brings me to my next tip…

It provides a time for self-reflection

Rejection or not, I love a good moment of self-reflection and I encourage y’all to build some time for it into your daily slash weekly schedule. There is something so refreshing about taking time to think about your goals, what you’re good at, where you can grow and improve, etc. This is basically what I use my quiet time for every morning and it’s for real one of my favorite parts of my routine.

If having a designated “quiet time” sounds daunting to you or like just another thing to add to your to-do list, start by taking only two minutes before you get out of bed in the morning. After you’re fully awake, close your eyes and put some thought into yourself. Don’t make a list for the day or think about tasks – think about YOU!

If you want to take it a step further, do this self-assessment. It will help you think of ways to challenge yourself, shine a light on how you can improve (in a good, helpful way) and give you clarity where you need it most.

It can teach you perseverance

Whether it’s work stuff or your personal life, being rejected is tough. But if you stop and think about it, sometimes it’s in those down moments where we become even stronger. Maybe not at first, but I think one of the positives to come out of any rejection situation is when you feel ready to “make a comeback” so to speak.

In my early twenties, I would feel defeated any time I wasn’t perfect at work (this still happens to be honest), but I loved how I felt a few days later after a bit of healing (and self-reflection). It was like I could take on anything! Try to look forward to that whenever rejection comes knocking at your door.

It sometimes forces you to change your perspective

I don’t know about y’all, but sometimes I really narrow in on a certain way of doing things. Then when that way doesn’t work out, all the sudden I’m forced to look at the situation through a different lens. I totally get being stubborn and feeling convinced that the way you’re doing things is the right way, but sometimes we need rejection so our eyes can be opened a bit. This provides an opportunity to grow, learn and just ask more questions, which is such a good thing in my opinion.

We tend to think of rejection as a horrible thing; like we did something wrong and should be punished for it. But it’s actually one of the best ways to force ourselves to take a step back and truly grow. I hope these ideas helped show you that, especially if you’re going through something tough right now.


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