If you’ve hung around my blog or instagram lately, you know some pretty exciting things have been happening around here! I am ENGAGED and I’m MOVING to Denver!
While it has been a whirlwind of excitement, it has also sent me into reflection mode. Maybe you’ve been following me since before I met Duncan and remember that I briefly touched on singleness. When I got engaged, one of you guys messaged me to congratulate me but also let me know how you had been so encouraged by that one IG story I posted about my struggle with singleness back in December of 2017.
To be honest, I didn’t talk about singleness as much as I probably should have. I think the reason why is because singleness was a really vulnerable subject for me. No matter how much truth I poured over myself or how confident I told myself I was, there was still this bit of insecurity inside of me that wondered if I wasn’t good enough. Even though I *knew* that God had a plan for me, it was still hard to TRUST this plan and that whatever he had in store for me was best.
I would get tangled in my thoughts and confused on what to feel because I also knew marriage is not promised. So I wrestled with being content in my singleness versus feeling like I was in a season of waiting for something – something I didn’t know if I would get.
But engagement has showed me a lot of things I learned in singleness and I feel more confident about what it taught me, so I wanted to share more in hopes that it will encourage you. I know so many of y’all have messaged me asking for encouragement in this area, so I hope to be a light for you as I share some of the things that helped me make the most of my single season.
How to Make The Most Of Your Single Season
While I haven’t been out of singleness for too long, I want to share with you guys some of the ways my singleness was a formative and valuable time for me.
Not single? Don’t check out on me yet! These are ways I encourage you to live no matter your marital status, but if you’re single – TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS TIME! Let’s get to it.
Go after God
In my singleness I was (for the most part) able to wake up each day and choose where all of my resources went – time, money, even emotional resources. I didn’t have to factor other people into the mix when I decided how or where I wanted to use these resources. That obviously changes when you bring another person into your life because you begin to share these resources with another person and factor them into how you use them each day.
Hear me out…you should run after God no matter what your marital status is, BUT take advantage of this time when you can give your undivided attention to following God! Take advantage of this time where you can literally spend an entire weekend being silent with Him, having nobody you’re accountable to. Stay in on Friday nights to read a book if you want or to try out that new hobby. There’s so much room for stillness and solitude when you’re single and I think that’s a gift.
What is God asking you to do with your time? Who can you be investing into or where can you be serving others?
How is he asking you to use what He has given you? Are you supposed to open your home on a regular basis and practice hospitality? Does He want you to give to someone in need?
Who is he wanting you to share your life with? Is your community pushing you closer to God? How is He asking you to encourage and love those in your daily life?
Being a disciple of Jesus is a continual practice of submitting our life to God and following in humility. What a great way to practice for marriage! If that is what God has for you, this time will only bring about fruit in your marriage as you learn to consider another person and collaborate on what is best for your marriage.
If God has something different for you, I promise this won’t be time wasted. He will use your pursuit of knowing Him to bear fruit in your life and He will do far more than you would be able to dream up!
Know who you are
Do you ever just ask yourself, what does that EVEN MEAN?
Some days it feels like who I think I am can change into from one minute to the next. But, lean in because I want to tell you what I have learned about identity.
Everything around you will change – from people to finances to jobs to culture and it is really easy to use these external factors to tell us who we are. If they are always changing though, that means what I think about myself can potentially always be changing. And to be honest, that’s a really stressful way to live.
God never changes, and what He says about you and me doesn’t change either. He has also designed each one of us in a specific way with specific gifts and perspectives. So who is that girl? What does God think about her? Who does He say she is? What does she LOVE? How has He gifted her? What inspires her? What are her strengths and weaknesses? What is true of her NO MATTER WHAT?
Thinking about these questions was HUGE for me! I learned to find freedom in my weaknesses and appreciate and use my strengths with purpose. Instead of trying to be something I wasn’t or be like someone I admired, I accepted how He has created me specifically and learned to glorify the Lord THROUGH my strengths AND my weaknesses. What that means is that I took note of the things I struggled with and instead of wishing things were different, I accepted it and asked God to show me the other side; I asked him to show me where I had a strength and how I could use that for His kingdom.
Use this time to know who God says you are and how He has uniquely made you and ROCK IT!
Be unhindered in your exploring
There is so much life to live TODAY! You don’t have to wait to get married to do the things you want to do. Travel the world, buy a house, take up a new hobby, start a business, move to a new city – the list could go on, but my point is – GET OUT THERE AND EXPLORE!
This will not only make you a more well rounded human being, but it will also help you find out what YOUR PURPOSE is in this world. You will succeed and fail, you will have experiences you love and hate, you will laugh and cry, there will be mountain tops and valleys – but it will all shape you as a person and show you what purpose you are meant to fulfill in your corner of the world!
I have moved to new cities, quit my safe job and started my blog, bought a house, traveled the world, sent scary emails and much more. I’ve had my ups and my downs in all of it, but I know I can do hard things, new things, and BIG things. I want to bring that attitude and confidence into my marriage, so that we can now EXPLORE TOGETHER!
Singleness doesn’t mean you have more resources, but it often means you can use them in a different way. I am so grateful for the time I had to be single and explore, learn about myself and the world around me, and follow God in all of it! I don’t know what God has planned for your life, but I know He has your good in mind, so FOLLOW HIM wherever He leads and make the most of it!
My robe is by Weezie Towels and I got it done for my wedding (hence the last name being a B)
Brighton Your Day
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