Reflections - September 2, 2020

What I Do When I Feel Comparison Creeping In

What I do when I feel comparison creeping in, fall outfit Black Sweater Denim Fall Transition with mules

Want to know something I’ve realized in the last few months? That phrase – “comparison is the thief of joy” is 100% accurate. I can be going along with life, happy as can be, and then I come across something on IG that makes me feel like I’m “behind” or “not successful enough”, etc. and just like that, I’m on a downward spiral. And with SO many amazing people sharing their lives online these days, it’s easy to make yourself believe these things.

I’ve touched on this topic before in posts like this, but wanted to dive a bit deeper because I feel like this might be something a lot of us struggle with? Personally, comparison is something I’ve struggled with over the years and try really hard to acknowledge when it’s happening so I can nip in the bud as quickly as possible. Here are a few things I do when I feel it creeping in. I truly hope this is helpful to anyone needing to hear/read this right now!

Remind myself IG is a highlight reel

To give myself some perspective, I try to think of all the life I live that’s not shown on IG. I know to people who follow me it might seem like I’m always online, but there’s actually so much I do, tons of conversations I have, situations I work through, etc. that aren’t public knowledge. SO, if that’s my situation, isn’t it probably safe to assume that is other people’s situations as well? My point is, there’s likely A LOT of life happening behind those beautiful photos and funny Stories I’m comparing myself to and remembering that helps me. Instagram is a curated, filtered (literally) platform where you mostly only see the really, really pretty stuff. Remember this!!

Get offline

This one is pretty simple and to the point. If you’re constantly scrolling through IG or Facebook and feeling bad about yourself, GET OFFLINE! This has been hard for me in years past because my job is to be online talking with y’all and interacting with the BTD community, but I’ve learned for my own health I need breaks. Not necessarily from you guys, but when social media is your job and you’re constantly engulfed in what other people are doing who have the same job as you, ugh, it’s exhausting.

And I think this applies to ANYONE, not just social media influencers. Whether you work in an office or from home or for yourself, there’s probably always someone who has the same or a similar job as you and feeling like they’re killing it and you’re not is a great way to feel bad about yourself. So unfollow that person, mute them, whatever you need to do for you.

Surround yourself with positive people

And to add to what I said above about getting offline, be sure that when you do, you’re surrounding yourself with amazing, positive and supportive people. Although for me comparison usually happens online, it can definitely happen in person too, even if I love the person I’m talking to.

This is kind of hard to share because I feel like it makes me seem like a jealous person, but I’ll even subconsciously compare myself to my friends sometimes. Like if something really great is happening for them, I’ll ask myself why it’s not happening for me and then my mind gets flooded with questions like: Am I not working hard enough? Could I work harder? Should I change my career? You get the point. So even if you are around amazing, positive and supportive people comparison can STILL be there. But just be aware of it and don’t start to resent that person for their success!

Do things that make me happy

This is why I’ve recently really embraced the idea of a bliss list! So I have a go-to list of things that I know will make me happy. I highly recommend it! If I even feel a hint of the comparison game coming on, I’m learning to put down my phone and immediately do something that makes me feel happy and good about myself. If you want to learn more about the bliss list, check out my post here.

Again, I hope this is helpful for anyone who needs it right now. Just remember you’re amazing and wherever you’re at on your journey right now is exactly where you’re meant to be!

Outfit Details

Sweater: Abercrombie Oversized Chenille Sweater (wearing size XS) // Denim: Abercrombie Mom Jeans (wearing size 25 Short, love the fit of these!) // Shoes: Python Madewell Mules (old – similar) // Bag: Madewell (I also have this bag in brown and love it!) // Sunglasses: Ray Ban 50mm round lens