The term “girl boss” has become somewhat of a buzzword, but behind all the fuss, I’m all about what it stands for. There are so many great women out there killing it every day in whatever it is they’re pursuing and its really inspiring and motivating. I love to surround myself with ladies like this and hope their vibe will rub off on me – keeping me focused and willing to work hard for what I want. My mom has her own shoe line and has been a #girlboss before it was a “thing,” and I’m beyond grateful to have that direct inspiration in my life. She’s truly amazing; I look up to her so much!
After giving it some thought, I wanted to put it in writing what I think the girl bosses in my life (and all over the world) have in common. What REALLY makes a woman a girl boss – beyond having a title of a manager, boss, or just doing her own thing. Y’all know she’s got to be strong, but I think there’s more to it. Or at the least, there are certain qualities that I admire and strive to embody.
To become a boss, you have to believe you already are one! Confidence can be a tricky thing though, because sometimes you can come across as being the most sure-of-herself person in the room, but on the inside, you’re trembling. I TOTALLY know this feeling, but here’s my trick: keep you head up and keep faking it ’til you make it (whoever came up with that phrase really knew what they were talking about). The thing is – at some point, you were 100% confident and yourself and believed in what you were (or wanted to) do. And THAT’S something to fight for. You will INDEED encounter struggles and self-doubt, so expect them and use those situations and thoughts to strengthen your “WHY”.
Once you give off that confidence for so long, something amazing happens – you realize you actually are. And it starts to get a little bit easier. Of course, remain humble and tolerant of feedback along the way, but remember why you started and keep on keepin on. Don’t be afraid to walk into a room and own it, even if you’re not 100% sure what you’re doing – I guarantee your confidence will kick in and you’ll slay (OK I kinda hate that saying but feel like it was fitting, right?)! I’ve talked more about faking it ’til you make it here – I’m seriously a fan of it, especially when it’s your only option. Plus if you don’t believe in yourself, how can you expect others to? (easier said than done, I know!)
Find out what you want and give it everything you’ve got. The girl bosses of the world know what their goals are and make all kinds of crazy sacrifices to achieve them. I think that with anything in life, if you’re chasing after or focusing on area of your life hard core, there will 100% be things that fall behind. In other words, in order to be truly goal-oriented, you’ll have to also be realistic in that you WILL have to make sacrifices. When you’re making them (the sacrifices), it sucks. Because you don’t have anything to show for it – and you’ll probably question if it’s even worth it. And hey, maybe it won’t be – maybe it won’t work out – but you’ll never know if you don’t give it all you got, right?
I also think that part of being goal-oriented is also being value-driven. Let me explain. With any goal you set, you’ve got a reason for doing so. For some reason, you believe your life or your business will be better because of it, right? Otherwise, why would you set the goal in the first place. So witch each goal you set, make sure you’re also identifying WHY it seems/feels so important to you and what the added value will be to your life, IF you achieve it. I think this exercise also forces us to check motives and make sure you’re setting the right kind of goals.
To chase after your dreams, sometimes you have to set aside judgement from others. Read that again. Because it’s SO very true. Not everyone is going to understand your goals or see value in the things you want to accomplish. I learned this better than anyone when I quit my steady job as a CPA to be a…fashion blogger? And actually, when I quit my job, I wasn’t even sure it was going to work out, but that’s a whole other story.
And the funny thing is that even after you become a “girl boss”, the needing to be fearless doesn’t stop. You’ve still got to wake up everyday and CHOOSE to be brave and believe in yourself – regardless of setbacks and what other people think. When you decide to forget the fear and just let yourself shine, as corny as that might sound, all the sudden you’re a girl boss without even trying!
A girl boss is someone who can lead, but never forgets what it was like in the trenches. She always remembers the late nights, long hours and lack of free time once she gets to where she’s going. This isn’t something that comes to mind right away, but after being in an industry full of “girl bosses,” the ones with humility stand out from the others. The ones bossing people around and acting like they are God’s gift – that’s just not my definition of a girl boss, or the kind I strive to be at least. Always recognize your value, but it’s equally important to be humble and kind.
What qualities do you notice in girl bosses you aspire to be like?
Brighton Your Day
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